Just a few minutes ago, I wrote this poem.

I think the title should be, “After spending 21 years in this city” -

I am once again 

in this city, 

alone 

as I was 21 years ago

when I came here 

with wide eyes to rule this city 

have friends 

and a nice family

into exile again

I am condemned 

to watch the world go by 

a humiliating and 

very frightening feeling 

the pain is intensified, 

each day

by the phone which never rings

the doorbell

nobody presses

the mailbox full

with tens of mails 

from watch to car sellers

not from someone 

I know 

or I knew

now I just wish

to disappear in silence

somewhere 

in a distant city or a village

where no one knows me

no one cares for me

no one eager to know me

and

no one to weep 

when I suddenly get a heart attack

or fall from a high-rise building

or die in that small street 

struck 

by a car or a bull

I wish 

the music of my life 

to end suddenly, 

abruptly

but I thought 

let it remain 

until the end

I wish 

the whisper of death

wouldn’t be this terrifying 

that I listen to 

every moment 

of life 

these days 

in silence, 

which makes me 

so tenable 

that I can’t even live.