239. How many times I could have died
I bought 'Letters From Gaza,' edited by Mohammed Al-Zaqqzooq and Mahmoud Alshaer, with an introduction by Atef Abu Saif, the Minister of Culture in the Palestinian Authority.
Basman Eldirawi, a 29-year-old physiotherapist and writer from Gaza, has been recording the experiences of Palestinians in Gaza to shed light on their hardships since the 2023 conflict began.
Eight Fingers is a poem written and translated by Basman Eldirawi.
I count things.
as if I'm counting the hours until sunrise,
then I count the hours of the morning,
hoping the sounds will end.
I count the sounds of the missiles,
and how many times I could have died.
I count my loaves, reminding myself
not to eat my brother's-
don't let him die hungry.
I count the clouds in the sky
before they're covered in dust
from the missiles sent for death.
I walk on the street
counting what houses and traces remain;
I've walked here once,
I've laughed here once,
I've cried here once.
So, I don't forget how the city looks,
I've memorized it before it's hung naked
from some gallows.
I count the moles on my body,
as if to say goodbye,
before the enemy cuts off a limb.
I count poems, thinking,
which of them will be killed,
unfinished, like an unborn child;
some have not even taken a breath,
like a baby born too soon.
I count my friends,
before the breaking news;
yesterday they were ten,
and I counted them on my fingers-
but today I woke up to eight fingers.