A reader shared a beautiful poem by Shawna Lemay. She is the author of Apples on a Windowsill, Everything Affects Everyone, and The Flower Can Always Be Changing, among other books. Her novel, Rumi and the Red Handbag, made Harper’s Bazaar’s #THELIST - must-reads for Fall 2015.

The sender of the email says it was copied from a Facebook post that included an introduction stating, “his father had requested in lieu of flowers, please take a friend or loved one out for lunch.” 

I find this idea very attractive and repeatable, or should I say, followable? 

Writing a note to your loved ones, suggesting what they should do when you are no longer with them and will never come back.

Read the poem -

Although I love flowers very much, 

I won’t see them when I’m gone. 

So in lieu of flowers:  

Buy a book of poetry 

written by someone still alive, 

sit outside with a cup of tea, 

a glass of wine, and read it out loud, 

by yourself or to someone, or silently.

Spend some time with a single flower. 

A rose, maybe. 

Smell it, touch the petals. 
Really look at it. 
Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love.
Or, Champagne. 

And think of what John Maynard Keynes said,

“My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne.” 

Or what Dom Perignon said 

when he first tasted the stuff: “Come quickly! I am tasting stars!” 
Take out a paint set and lay down some colours.

Watch birds. 

Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. 

Geese are nice. Robins.
In lieu of flowers, 

walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. 

Eat an apple, a really nice big one. 

I hope it’s crisp. 
Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, 

maybe some rose petals.
Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. 

Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name. 
If it’s winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. 

If it’s summer, a big glass of ice water. 
If it’s autumn, collect some leaves 

and press them in a book you love. 

I’d like that. 

Sit, look out a window, 

and write down what you see. 

Write some other things down. 

In lieu of flowers, 
I would wish for you to flower. 
I would wish for you to blossom, 

to open, to be beautiful.

(with thanks to the poet Shawna Lemay)